


Turken

by Kazel_Menra



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bird Puns, For Turkey Day!, just a fun little one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 15:34:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16726113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazel_Menra/pseuds/Kazel_Menra
Summary: Akuma comes around on Beaujolais Nouveau and all the cooked birds come to life. It looks to be a fowl day!





	Turken

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo Paris doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving... lol kinda forgot about that... However they do have a holiday called Beaujolais Nouveau celebrating the wine of the new year! They have festivals and buisnesses close down early in some areas. I took some liberties with it since I've never actually been to Paris during their holiday season to know what really goes on. Hope everyone had an awesome holiday!

It was the third Thursday in November and Adrien was excited. Today was Beaujolais Nouveau! For adults this was especially exciting since it was a celebration and subsequent uncorking of the new wine, not to mention numerous festivals scattered about. Adrien had no interest in wine but he did love the fact that that all of Paris was in celebration mode, and there was even a Jagged Stone concert scheduled for midnight in Paris that year. The tickets were hard to come by but the love of his life, Marinette, had been gifted four of them since she designed the newest outfit that Jagged Stone now wore. It had been a huge success and she had been swamped with commissions since the outfit’s unveiling. Adrien had been often worried about her since he knew she was overworking herself. Between her school work, class presidency, commissions, and her Ladybug duties, Marinette had far too much on her plate. The last thing Adrien had wanted was for her health to suffer so he had taken on the majority of their nightly patrols in an attempt to give Marinette more time to sleep. Unfortunately, his plan sort of backfired since Marinette simply used the time to work on more commissions. Tiki had texted him late at night several times asking him to come force her to bed, and her parents had stepped in one evening when they heard the commotion of Adrien trying to get Marinette to go to sleep. That had been a traumatizing experience and had led to the unveiling of their alter egos to her parents, although Adrien was a touch suspicious that her parents had already known or suspected. They had accepted Adrien's presence in their daughter’s room late at night far too easily even though they had both gotten a long, and frankly embarrassing, talk after the whole thing was sorted out.

The one good thing about her parents knowing was the fact that Adrien always had a warm safe place to come to if he ever needed it. With his father currently yo-yoing from worried father to indifferent adult, Adrien was really glad to have the constant source of support from Marinette’s parents. In fact, he was currently basking in their loving support as he attempted to make some pastries with them. Tom was down in the bakery since they were open a half day, and Sabine had come up to make sure they were doing alright. Adrien and Marinette were making chicken puff-pastries that were being sold as a special this year solely for Beaujolais Nouveau. Since the bakery only usually sold sweets, none of them had expected the things to be such a hit. To everyone’s surprise, they had been flooded with people asking for one to the point that they had run out three times. In fact, Marinette had to run out with Adrien and get more chicken just to keep up with the orders!

“How many birds have we cooked, Princess?” Adrien asked happy to be able to help, but even he was starting to get tired since they had been at it since getting off school.

“Too many,” Sabine answered for her with a laugh. “Don’t worry, you two can be done once you finish that plate up. The turkey in the oven is for us and not for pastries.”

“Are you sure, Maman? The chicken puffs are selling really well!” Marinette called.

“Yes, dear. We’ve made quite the killing on them, however they are a lot of work and business lunch hour is over. We’ll be closing the bakery down soon, plus you two should go out and have some fun! There are little stalls and things all over right now. You two should enjoy it since today was a half day at school,” Sabine answered, taking the last batch they had just finished and made her way back down into the bakery.

“Now that sounds like a  _ pheasant _ idea,” Adrien laughed.

Marinette tossed some leftover pastry dough at him hitting Adrien square in the forehead, “Don’t even start, mister!”

“Aw, Princess, someone is in a  _ fowl _ mood!” Adrien cracked, ducking the second blob of dough and running out of the room laughing before she could try and aim a third blob.

Marinette rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Adrien would be back in a moment to help clean up, he was just being silly. True to form, after less than a minute passed Adrien's head poked around the edge of the wall with a grin still on his face.

“Come in here and help clean up or I won’t feed you!” Marinette threatened.

Adrien shot her a horrified look, “Princess, you’re so mean to your Prince Charming!”

Even as he said it Adrien was already moving forward to help, but he froze as something moving caught his eye, “Hey, Marinette? Do turkeys move when they’re cooking in the oven?”

Marinette laughed, “No, Adrien, they don’t. What’s the punchline?”

“Uh, no joke. The turkey is moving!” Adrien yelped as the front of the oven shattered outwards in a spray of glass.

“Adrien?!” Marinette cried spinning around to see him on the countertop, crouched and hissing at the scalding-hot turkey that had just come to life.

Next to her the trashcan shook violently, tipping over and scattering chicken bones that slowly started putting themselves back together. Adrien and Marinette's eyes met over the space between them. “Akuma,” they managed as Sabine came crashing up the stairs, a huge paddle usually reserved for bread in hand.

“Oh dear, I thought so. You kids get moving! Tom and I will handle dinner!” Sabine snapped darting forwards as the turkey launched itself at Adrien.

Adrien yelped, scrambling back as Sabine swung, smashing the turkey out of the air and into the floor. Marinette caught Adrien as he fell off the counter and hauled him up shouting, “Thanks Maman!” as they bolted for her room.

“Is it really ok to leave your mom fighting those, uh, birds?” Adrien asked scrambling into her room.

“Maman’s a really good fighter, she can hold them off for a second,” Marinette answered turning her attention to the kwami who had flown up when the two crashed into her room. “Tiki, there’s an Akuma attacking! Spots on!”

“Us, too! Plagg, claws out!” Adrien called before Plagg could start complaining.

They bolted back downstairs as soon as the light wore off, finding Sabine wielding the paddle like a baseball bat smashing chicken carcasses out the air while Tom fielded them with a large trash can he must have hauled up from the bakery. The two teens watched in awe for a solid minute before Tom turned to them with a grin.

“We can trash these birds by ourselves. You two go deal with the main Akuma victim!” 

Ladybug nodded, grabbing Chat by the wrist since he was about to pounce on the turkey which was waddling in their direction. “Come on, kitten. We have a bigger bird to deal with!”

“Don’t you mean  _ cook _ ?” Tom and Chat asked at the same time making Ladybug groan as Sabine smacked another chicken at Tom. Since he hadn’t been paying attention, the bird hit him in the chest making Sabine laugh.

“Get going, you two. We’ll be fine, and your father can sit on the trashcan until things are fixed.”

Ladybug dragged a protesting Chat up her stairs and the two of them launched themselves across the rooftops. Paris was in chaos, people darting through the streets yelling as turkeys, chickens, ducks and other small bird carcasses came to life and started terrorizing the populace.

“Why are some Akuma so weird?!” Ladybug demanded even as Chat wiggled beside her in preparation of pouncing.

“I don’t know, My Lady, but some of those birds look really tasty.”

Ladybug flicked his ear, making Chat mewl in surprise, “No eating the minions, Chat!”

“But, Lovebug! They smell so good and I’m hungry!” Chat whined, and Ladybug honesty wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not.

“I’m serious, Chat. That might turn you into a turkey or something just as ridiculous! Remember Reflecta? I don’t think you want to be a oversized, cooked bird,” Ladybug huffed.

Chat grumbled something about seeing her point, and thankfully spoke nothing more of eating. Besides, Ladybug was fairly hungry too, since neither of them had managed to eat lunch before it came to life. At this point they weren’t even sure where the Akuma currently was but they figured that following the screams was the best way to go. They saved a few people along the way, smashing bird carcasses to pieces as they moved through the city. Chat licked at his claws every so often and Ladybug smacked him for it more than once before they landed on the edge of a rooftop near their school. The slightest sound behind them made Chat turn before he suddenly slammed into Ladybug, taking them both off the roof. Ladybug tossed her yo-yo out as they fell, swinging them onto the next roof over and the two of them were ready to leap into battle the second they landed. Instead, they both had to work on not laughing when they saw the Akuma in all its glory.

Turken was made up like an oversized turkey with dark brown feathers covering most of his body. A fan of larger feathers seemed attached to his back, and two waddles were in place of a mustache. He was bald and the skin on his head was a bluish tint, while a bright red mask sat across his eyes. Turken’s hands and feet were white and claw-like, although one hand held what looked like a turkey baster.

“I am Turken!” the Akumatized man crowed. “Here to take revenge on all those who said my food was bad! Since no one wants to eat it, my food shall eat you!”

“Oh great, another battle I’ll be sneezing through,” Chat grouched as the two of them darted to the side to avoid a spray of what looked like gravy coming from the turkey baster.

“Want to switch weapons and I’ll go on the attack?” Ladybug offered tossing her yo-yo out to try and knock Turken off the roof.

Chat didn't get the chance to think about her offer since Turken twisted, the fan of feathers flaring, blocking Ladybug’s attack. In the next second they had to leap apart as a gush of some grey goo came flying at them. Looking furious, Turken let out a straight-up gobble sound, making both heroes pause and Chat started laughing.

“He-he actually sounds like a turkey!” Chat sniggered dodging a blast of what was probably gravy and came up next to Ladybug. “Hey! Hey Turken! Do that again!”

“Chat, don’t antagonize him until we have a plan!” Ladybug sighed in exasperation even as she moved with Chat to rush Turken.

“Don’t be an _ Angrybird _ , My Lady, I’m sure we can- whoa!!” Chat yelped as multiple chicken, turkey, and some other half-cooked birds slammed to the rooftop. 

“Attack them, minions!” Turken snapped and the carcasses started moving forwards.

Ladybug kicked one of the smaller-quail maybe?-carcasses back and readied her yo-yo. “Shall we cut through these things, Chat? Your claws seemed to do a really good job.”

“What a  _ clawsome _ idea! Let’s ruffle their feathers!” Chat crowed darting towards the growing piles of birds and totally missing Ladybug’s sigh, “They don’t have feathers, Chat.”

The birds were not hard to knock away or slash through; however, there were lots of them and it was proving to be increasingly difficult to get close to Turken. It didn’t help that Turken kept shooting gravy or a brownish liquid at them that they kept having to dodge. Neither of the heros were sure what the gravy was, but the brownish liquid seemed to freeze things in place if enough of it got on you. Two of the birds had gotten hit when Ladybug had dodged and both had been frozen upright, their bald wings flapping at them uselessly. Ladybug was starting to get rather fed-up with the whole thing, kicking a chicken away from her when a far larger problem showed up. Two huge turkeys slammed into place on the roof, but these things were darn near the size of a human being making Ladybug and Chat slide to a halt in shock.

“Turducken’s! Take these unappreciative heroes down!” Turken cawed, firing another shot of goo at them.

“Why are those things so big?” Chat squealed as the two heroes backpedaled. “Turkeys don’t actually come in that size, do they?!”

“Of course they don’t! But a turducken is a chicken stuffed in a duck, which is then stuffed in a turkey, so maybe it’s so big because it’s a combination of three birds?” Ladybug guessed as they ducked down behind a rooftop in an attempt to hide from the turduckens. “We need a plan.”

“Aw, bugaboo, you don’t want to just wing it?” Chat asked and the fierce glare Ladybug fixed him had Chat shrinking slightly. “Uh… sorry, Ladybug… I-DUCK!”

Ladybug dropped to the roof at Chat’s warning and a literal duck flew through the space her head had been occupying seconds before. “I’ll distract. You plan!” Chat yelled throwing himself out hiding.

“Better luck  _ nest _ time!” he mocked making the Turduckens turn after him. “I would call you guys ‘bird brains’ but you seem to have lost your heads!”

“Stop making fun of my creations!” Turken shrieked, popping up from an unexpected direction and nailing Chat in the face with a gravy blast from his baster.

Chat hit the roof with a yelp of disgust, “Ewww, it’s salty!”

“Chat?!” Ladybug cried in alarm, snatching him away with her yo-yo as a turducken tried to flatten him. They landed on the next rooftop over, giving them a moment's respite while Ladybug helped Chat wipe some of the gravy off his face.

“I’m fine, My Lady. I don’t think it did anything but blind me momentarily,” Chat said continuing to wipe his face free of goo. 

Glancing up, Ladybug realized that she could no longer see Turken; although his turducken creations, as well as other birds, were heading in their direction. “We need to move, Chat. Are you sure you’re ok?”

“Eyes are clear, thoughts are clear, and except for the awful aftertaste of that gravy, I’m good. I’m a little surprised I didn’t get turned into a minion or something,” Chat huffed in relief.

“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t. I have no desire to fight you on top of a whole bunch of dead birds,” Ladybug grimaced and the two of them darted for a new rooftop, trying to spot Turken as they avoided his bird-minions. Two streets over they spotted him sitting on a chimney, flapping his arms and apparently crowing for more reinforcements, “I think the butterfly is in the baster. It’s the only thing I can see that’s out of the ordinary on him.”

Chat nodded and yawned before shaking his head, “I’ll go distract him. You use your charm.”

Before he could dart off Ladybug grabbed his tail, jerking Chat to a stop, “Are you ok?”

Chat blinked and shook himself, “I’m _ feeeline _ , My Lady. Let’s get this over with. I could use a nap.”

Ladybug looked a little unsure but she released him, allowing Chat to bound out into the open.

“Hey, Turken! Wanna know what kind of bird you’ll be soon? A  _ jail-bird _ !” Chat taunted.

Turken released an angry gobble sound launching himself after Chat, but he wasn’t able to pin the slippery cat down. Unfortunately, Chat was slowing down even as he threw yet another insult over his shoulder, “You sure you’re not a puffin? You seem to be a little out of breath, Turken!”

Suddenly Chat’s feet went out from under him as a bird tripped him up and sent him rolling down the rooftop. A flash of red in his peripheral vision gave him a clue to Ladybug’s whereabouts but then Turken slammed down on him, pinning his chest with the baster and his bone-white claws.

“I’ll serve your corpse to Hawkmoth!” Turken sneered, reaching for Chat’s ring with the hand that wasn’t pinning him with the baster.

“Cataclysm!” Chat yelled, swiping at Turken and missing since the Akuma was smart enough to jump back towards the edge of the roof.

Rolling to his feet, Chat was careful not to touch anything and swayed as exhaustion seemed to pull at him.

Turken laughed, “Looks like my super-sleepy gravy is finally taking effect! Without you in the way, how will Ladybug handle me?!”

“Ladybug always wins,” Chat growled struggling to stay upright.

“Ladybug always wins…” Turken sneered. “Well, I don’t think you two are winning right now!”

“I thought you were a turkey, not a mockingbird,” Chat huffed with his eyes almost too heavy to keep up.

“Chat, the roof!” Ladybug yelled from behind him and Chat dropped to his knees slamming his cataclysmed-hand to the rooftop.

Tiles blackened, snapped, and before Turken could do much more than yelp the whole bit of roof gave way, sending him over the edge. Ladybugs yo-yo flashed past, snapping around the baster as Turken fell. A few seconds later, Ladybug crouched down next to Chat.

“You alright, kitty?” she asked. Chat blinked up at her holding on to consciousness with a will that he hadn’t known he had.

What he saw jolted him more awake and he started laughing, “My Lady… you, uh, have a little bit of something everywhere…”

Ladybug frowned at him and wiped a bit of what looked like stuffing off her shoulder. There was still some in her hair, stuck to her suit, and there was even a small bit on her cheek that Chat wiped off. “The Turduckens apparently spit stuffing and one got me when I was setting up the net. Now, before we run  _ a-fowl  _ of any more birds…” she snapped the baster in half, releasing the black butterfly within.

Within seconds, the butterfly was caught and all the birds that had been moving forwards to attack them fell over lifeless once more. Ladybug hauled a still semi-sleepy Chat to his feet and the two of them peered over the side of the rooftop to find a very confused man tangled up in a black and red spotted bird net.

“Oh good, it  _ did _ hold,” Ladybug sighed as they leaped down to the ground.

Working together, they helped the man down and Ladybug released Miraculous Cleanse to clean up the mess all the birds had caused. Both of their miraculous were down to the last two bits so Ladybug and Chat declared, “Pound It!” before darting to a nearby alley, willing their transformations away once they were encased by shadows.

“You alright, Adrien?” Marinette asked cupping his cheek once the kwami were happily eating their respective snacks.  

“I’m fine, Princess. Turken’s gravy just made me a little sleepy. I’m sure a kiss would be the _purr-fect_ _tweet-ment_ though,” Adrien purred, leaning in.

His nose met her finger and she pushed him back with one eyebrow raised, “Two puns in a row? Yep, you’re fine.”

Adrien pouted, “Hey, you punned, too!”

Marinette laughed and kissed him on the cheek, “Yes, I suppose I did. You’re a terrible influence. Now, let’s go check out some of those stalls and get you something to eat that isn’t tainted by an Akuma.”

“You’re the best, Princess,” Adrien hummed, stealing a kiss and making Marinette giggle.

Marinette’s phone beeped with a call from her parents checking in on them and both teens reassured them they were both fine and not in need of any assistance. Alya was the next in line demanding to know where they were and how soon they could meet up for a lunch date with Nino since she had been stuck babysitting through the Akuma attack and hadn’t been able to get any videos. Marinette laughingly agreed to meet up and together they walked out of the alley hand in hand, excited for the rest of the day’s adventures. With the Akuma of the day taken care of, they really shouldn’t have any more interruptions and they still had lunch, plus the concert to look forward to.

“Today is going to be a good day!” Adrien cried, swinging their joined hands like an excited child as they walked to meet up with their friends to celebrate Beaujolais Nouveau.


End file.
